Couples going through hard times in their marriages sometimes look for unique solutions. They want to avoid actually ending the marriage if at all possible. In recent years, sleep divorces have become a very trendy alternative to calling it quits. Couples who can no longer successfully cohabitate due to snoring or incompatible schedules might agree to start sleeping in separate bedrooms.
The goal of a sleep divorce is to reduce the strain on the marriage caused by sleep deprivation. When one spouse’s sleep habits negatively affect the other, the consequences can be dire. People’s mental health can rapidly decline when they do not get enough sleep. They may grow to resent their spouse for waking them up with snoring or imposing an irregular schedule on them.
Some couples find that sleeping separately helps resolve their marital conflicts. Others do not see any significant improvement in their relationships after moving into separate bedrooms.
What happens if a sleep divorce doesn’t help to heal a struggling marriage?
Spouses may agree to actually divorce
The choice to sleep separately is often a last-ditch effort to eliminate some of the pressure on a marital relationship. The improvement in sleep that results can lead to beneficial changes in the marital relationship. People may find that their moods improve when they don’t wake up multiple times a night because of their spouse’s snoring or tendency to toss and turn. Better sleep can help some couples, but not all of them.
If sleeping separately does result in better rest but not improved marital dynamics, then spouses may need to accept that their relationship is unhealthy or unhappy. They may be able to work cooperatively with each other to file an amicable or uncontested divorce.
Even when spouses cooperate, they generally each need their own attorney to ensure there is someone looking out for their best interests. They need to understand the law and to review any proposed settlements to ensure that they are reasonable and fair.
Sleep divorces have become particularly popular among older couples, especially if one spouse has a medical issue like sleep apnea. They can help some couples, but people need to prepare for the possibility that they can’t correct major marital issues with better sleep.
Recognizing that a legal divorce may follow an unsuccessful sleep divorce can help people understand when they might need to take additional action. If sleeping separately doesn’t improve a relationship, it may be time to consider actually living separately and pursuing independent lifestyles.