Keeping calm during divorce negotiations might seem impossible. After all, you are getting divorced for a reason, whether it was infidelity, money, dishonesty, or one of you realizing you are not in love anymore. Most of the things that trigger a divorce are painful for the spouses. It’s natural to feel sad, angry and betrayed at various points during the divorce process.
But as tempting as it can be, accusing or insulting your ex will not end your divorce any faster or with better terms for you or your children. On the other hand, keeping calm and reasonable when communicating with your ex can remove a lot of the stress and make things go much more easily. If the two of you are pursuing an uncontested divorce, calm communication is essential to making the process work.
How being cordial helps uncontested divorce
Uncontested divorce is an alternative to the traditional divorce process, which pits the spouses against each other like in a lawsuit. By working out property division, child custody and other matters before filing, you and your ex can save a lot of time and money. But to use uncontested divorce successfully, the two of you (and your attorneys) must be able to communicate. And that cannot happen if every phone call, email thread and negotiation session turns into a bitter argument.
Better for the kids, too
Restraining your emotions in front of your ex has another benefit. Your children are watching you for reassurance that things are going to be all right despite all the changes in your lives. Keeping calm and avoiding emotional outbursts can help your kids adjust. It isn’t easy, but if you and your ex are willing to try, your divorce can be less stressful and traumatic than it would be otherwise.